Rocky Mountain High Newsletter May 2003 <+> <+> <+> <+> <+> <+> <+> Sunshine On My Shoulder by Connie S. Reeder Nichols While driving south to Miami after dropping my 19-year-old daughter off at a retreat in upstate New York, I found myself somewhere on I-95 on a dank, cold September morning. About half-way through the Carolinas I'd played out all the cd's brought along for the trip and let the radio scan through the local stations, spitting out music between white noise. My thoughts swirled around five seconds of a country song, then a top ten hit and on to a preacher making his point about hell, but always back to my daughter and our private nightmare. A few months earlier a voice in the middle of the night called to say my daughter, struggling with addiction and missing for several days, had overdosed and was dead. This proved to be false, but several hours passed before I knew she was alive and by then my heart had nearly pounded through my chest. For now she was safe, but the fear of losing her was ever present. This retreat I'd driven her to was a favorite of mine and my friend John Denver, who I sang and traveled with for over twenty years. John and his music was not on my radar growing up and before meeting him in the flesh his image conjured up a dorky guy with simpleton songs for a simpleton audience. At first I reluctantly told my friends about my gig with John, especially jazz musicians, but John, tall, good-looking and not dorky, soon won me over, not necessarily for his music, but for his truth, his sincerity and a genuine affection for people and nature. Before the Denver tour the largest audience I'd performed in front of topped maybe five thousand. Millions filled John Denver concerts for decades. Sometimes from the stage I'd look out over a sea of people. His 'simple' songs struck a chord for millions of fans, who still cherish him years after his death. They were way ahead of me. Losing John a month after my mom's passing tested me in ways known only to people who experience a tremendous loss, which more than likely includes anyone breathing and walking around on planet Earth, but three years later another test, my beautiful daughter, my baby's life hung by a thread. Being at the retreat had reminded me of John and the love for all things seen and unseen that we shared. Maybe that's why while driving on a lone stretch of highway on a dreary fall morning and lost in thoughts of despair, I stopped the scanning radio when I heard John's familiar, clear, tenor voice, 'Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy. Sunshine in my eyes can make me cry.' Through streaming tears I started singing lyrics I'd sung hundreds of times at hundreds of venues in front of millions of people with this now disembodied voice on the radio. 'Sunshine on the water looks so lovely.' And then it happened. As if on cue a narrow beam of light pierced through the clouds and hit my shoulder through the window of my car. On that lonely road in the middle of nowhere and somewhere in the midst of a life crisis, my sorrow, my angst, my broken dreams were all dissolved by that beam of light burning into my left shoulder. In the space of three chords I learned volumes about myself, about music, about life, about the simplicity of love and John, who knew his audience well. I sang at the top of my lungs to this audience of one, me. "Sunshine almost always makes me high", lifting my spirit to an undisclosed height where it remains to this day. Copyright 2002 by C.S. Reeder Nichols http://www.csreeder.com ==============================================================